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Swank Magazine September 2001
Number 50 TABLE OF CONTENTS6 Kelle
A look deep inside!
14 Letters
Read'em & let your dick weep!
17 Monica & Rob
Sex crazed oral freaks!
30 Weird Sex
Okay, young man, make love to your father-in-law!
34 Swan
She's no ugly duckling!
48 On The Set
Sin City brings you the scent of spirited teens!
52 Pearl & Terri
She's fishing in her oyster!
64 The Unexplained
Was Mulder right?
68 Gain' Postal
Special backdoor delivery!
76 Julie Anna
She's already wet for us!
84 Quickies
Ball stapling! Ouch!
87 Funny Boners
Laugh, you son of a bitch!
89 Jezebelle
She has the biggest dildo of them all!
101 Swank's Pranks
Ball-splitting hilarity!
102 Natalie & Darren
A dirty brunette cums clean!
110 Houston
Sex Spell: You're getting horny.. horny
112 Melissa
Ooh, my sweet Melissa!
120 Top ten XXX pix!
125 Jenny
A butt to behold!
185 Natasha & Laura
Two girls and eight wet lips!
192 Swank Stuff
Cool, swanky stuff!
Editorial Note
Ugh. If I have to sit through seven more seconds of someone's fucking feelings
on all these crappy, overdramatic, overscripted "reality-based" tv shows,
I'll go nuts. "Oh, I don't think he likes me, and he pushes us too hard,
and that's why I'm going to vote him off!" Blow me. I don't mind sitting
through the action of the show—be it a gator-laced raft race or a drill
instructor kicking the mental shit out of someone—but do we have to hear
the contestants cunt moan, too? Shut up and win your money. And for the love of
all. things holy, let's see some fuckin'!
Speaking of reality-based entertainment, Swank's got the most real thing out there—hot,
naked girls doing filthy things! No camera tricks, no hidden messages, no bullshit!
Check it out as Julie Anna, Kelle, Monika, Natalie, Jezebelle, Pearl and Terri
keep it real...real nasty! Then see Melissa, Jenny, Natasha and Laura play a little
game of sexual sur-
vival! Man, this stuff is real with a capital "R!"
And dig this—are they real or is it all complete shit? A good, hard look
at our country's obsession with UFO's, extraterrestrials, and how it all revolves
around Area 51 in Tales of the Unexplained: "American Twilight Zone!"
Sorry, no Klingon dictionary in this one. Nerd.
And if that weren't enough, thank the alien-infested stars that we live where
we do, 'cause you wouldn't want to be caught with your pants down in some parts
of the world! Study global sex laws that will make you cringe in "Weird Sex!"
All this plus, on the set of Sin City's Teen Spirit, our brand new Swank Stuff
section, the wit and porno wisdom of Houston, Quickies, Letters, and XXX Reviews!
Until then, keep your hands on a pussy and your head in the stars! Yeah, something
like that!
—The Editors
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